Dementia can be caused by many different conditions. While most of them involve an eventual decline in abilities, the stages are not cast in stone. It’s a bit of a watercolor-like transition, flowing from one stage to the other. Symptoms from the middle stage show up earlier in some conditions and individuals, or later in others.
Alzheimer’s is the most predictable of the conditions that result in dementia symptoms. It’s also the most common. (Fifty percent of people with dementia have Alzheimer’s.) As such, it’s often the yardstick when talking about stages.
Vascular dementia (generally arising from strokes) accounts for 10% to 20% of dementia diagnoses. Its progression is more sporadic. (Strokes or ministrokes affect different parts of the brain and occur at irregular frequencies.) Rather than a gradual decline, strokes have more of a stair-step pattern. There’s a drop and then stability for a while. Then another drop if there’s a new stroke-like event. (Although some people have little strokes that cause a more gradual decline. It’s complicated!)
Acknowledging that stages are a bit fluid, by the “end” of the early stage, you should be planning for the person you care for to live with supervision twenty-four hours a day. They can still walk and communicate and engage socially. But they cannot reliably handle the more complex tasks of daily life that can be dangerous if mishandled: Cooking on a stove, driving, paying bills, or managing medications.
By the end of the middle stage, the person you care for will need help with intimate personal tasks such as bathing and dressing.
The middle stage is typically—but not always—one of the more confusing and emotionally difficult, for both families and the person with dementia. But there are strategies to help make it easier.
If you would like more information or to discuss support strategies, give us a call at 585-271-0400.
Fill in this form and one of our caring staff will get back to you.
Signs and symptoms of middle-stage dementia
The middle stage of Alzheimer’s—the most predictable form of dementia—is the longest. It typically lasts up to four years. It is characterized by erratic behaviors that are often embarrassing or confusing to family members.
The person with dementia is at this point unaware of their deficit. Often, they are anxious, scared, and angry. They may lash out irrationally. (Rational thought isn’t available to them like it used to be.) Social inhibitions—manners—are also diminishing.
Then again, some go with the flow. A previously tense and critical parent may be more inclined to let things slide. They somehow accept that they don’t understand everything, and that’s okay with them.
Middle stage signs and symptoms can include the following:
More problems communicating. In the earlier stage, they had trouble finding words. By the middle stage, they have trouble understanding what is being said to them. They may still be able to read, but following the thread of a conversation is difficult. Even capturing the meaning of the words can be elusive. People who were raised speaking a language other than English may begin speaking their original language instead.
Start looking for the meaning behind their words. Repeated questions such as “When are we leaving?” are not so much about the literal leaving time, but reflect anxiety about change. In addition to not remembering the answer you gave them ten minutes ago, their anxiety remains and so they ask again. They are in need of reassurance as much as they want a specific answer.
Memory loss goes further back. In the early stage, your loved one was unable to remember recent events, or new instructions, or new people they had just met. Now they may begin to forget things from further back in their past.
They might confuse a daughter for their mother. (In fact, she might look much the way their mother did twenty or thirty years before.)
They may no longer be able to recall the name of even close relatives or a spouse. (Heartbreaking for family, but it’s not personal. It’s the disease.)
Making choices is overwhelming. On one hand, they may want the respect and independence of deciding what to wear or eat. On the other, it’s difficult to weigh pros and cons, especially across many options.
Dressing and grooming become more challenging. In addition to choices, these tasks involve sequential steps, which can be quite challenging.
The person you care for may put clothes on in the wrong order (underwear on top of pants).
Or they may choose inappropriate clothing (a fancy dress for going outside).
Bathing is not only complicated, but also uncomfortable. The shower is noisy. The air may be cold when wet. Your loved one may no longer understand the importance of hygiene and resist cleaning up altogether.
There are issues of modesty and privacy with both dressing and bathing, especially if your loved one doesn’t always remember who you are.
Eating can be problematic.
Your loved one may want only sweets.
They may eat with their fingers (forks, spoons, and knives require a lot of concentration!).
What they like one day, they refuse the next.
Some have trouble if there is a lot of clutter on the table. Too many choices. The brain gets overwhelmed.
Remembering medications is difficult. A pillbox may have worked well in the early stage, but now your relative will need reminders. And keeping track of what day it is will be too much. Someone else will also need to order refills as needed. That’s just more organization than they can manage (even by the end of the early stage).
Driving is unsafe. Depth perception, quick reflexes, and remembering the rules of the road are no longer available. Your loved one can get too easily lost and distracted. They are a hazard to themselves and others.
Increased agitation and restlessness. While there are many things your relative can no longer do at this stage, they do remember and understand meaningful activity. (Many will insist they need to get dressed and go to work.) They want to be useful and to receive respect. They also have pent-up energy they need to burn, physically.
Sundowning, switching night and day, wandering. It’s quite common for people in the middle stage to get especially restless in the late afternoon or evening. They are tired, and the impending dark is scary. This tendency is called “sundowning.”
As they become less connected to time of day, the person you care for may become more active at night and sleepy during daylight hours.
They might also start to wander, with great risk of getting lost or even dying of hypothermia if they end up out late at night in the winter.
Toward the end of the middle stage, you might also notice these changes:
Sleep irregularities and wandering are more common.
Paranoia and accusations may emerge, with potentially combative overtones (for example, aggressive pushing or hitting because they don’t want to bathe).
Physical and emotional outbursts may occur more often.
Sexual comments or displays may be made in public as inhibitions diminish.
They may have incontinence of the bladder and/or bowel.
The experience of those in the middle stage of dementia
This is often an extremely confusing and emotional stage for people with dementia. The world does not make sense to them and they don’t know why. They try to apply order to chaos, but life doesn’t seem to cooperate.
How did their glasses end up in the refrigerator, for instance? They know they always set them on the dining room table. Having no memory of putting them in the refrigerator themselves, the only plausible explanation is that somebody else must have moved them!
Accusations and what we would call “paranoia” are common. The rug feels like it’s been pulled out from under them.
Most people in the middle stage are unaware of their impairment. Even if they received a diagnosis earlier, they just don’t remember. And they aren’t trying to “play dumb”. Literally, the “memory Velcro” does not stick any more. They also are losing their rational (logical) thinking. Trying to reason with them is fruitless. Again, they aren’t being stubborn, they just don’t have the pathway in the brain anymore that helps them understand “A leads to B, which then leads to C.”
If you think of dementia like winding the clock backwards in brain development, the middle stage is like losing the lessons of adolescence. Emotional regulation is diminishing, so they are more volatile and more impulsive. Social inhibitions (manners) can go out the window. They have a hard time with the loss of independence. Lacking a strong “executive” function in their brains, they rely a lot on intuition. Their emotional sensitivity is keen. They understand what respect and disrespect feel like. They are used to having choices and autonomy. It’s difficult to have it taken away.
Physically restless. Anxiety can manifest in more physical agitation. You might see this as pacing, or wandering, or wringing of hands. With less and less to do for themselves, they search for meaning and purpose. People with dementia can get bored! They need stimulation, but the right kind. Activities that spark their interest but are not too taxing mentally.
More vulnerable to others. With the world becoming more confusing, your loved one may seek security and comfort. They may cling to you and follow you around (called “shadowing”). They may also resonate with individuals who seem to take a special interest in them, making them an easy mark for con artists who are experts at cultivating a protective, secretive relationship.
“Be here now.” While many people in the middle stage of dementia are distressed and disoriented, some people actually seem very contented. They don’t notice the things that used to worry them. Life is really as good as they are feeling at the present moment. There isn’t a lot of past and future to bring on anxieties. If they are physically comfortable right now, life is good!
How family caregivers can help someone in the middle stage of dementia
Patience, sensitivity, flexibility, and a sense of humor are a great relief for families in this stage. Look for ways to make life predictable and secure, physically active, but not rushed or stressed. If you can be more in the present moment and look for opportunities for joy, the person you care for is very likely to reflect this calm and contentment.
Communication. When asking your loved one to do something, try these strategies:
Use simple sentences.
Reduce choices to only two (“Would you like to wear the blue sweater or the brown sweater today?”).
Use nonverbal cues, as over time they lose their ability to understand language.
Pay attention to your tone of voice, facial expression, and body language. The person you care for is more focused on the feeling you are communicating than the content.
Avoid being in a hurry or pressuring them. They will pick up on the stress and get flustered themselves. Or resist.
When they speak to you
Consider the emotions behind the words. You may have to be a bit of a detective as they can’t always put what’s bothering them into words.
Repetitive questions are annoying! But common. Sometimes they forget that you told them the doctor’s appointment is at 3:00. Other times they keep asking because they are actually anxious. Sitting down together and doing something soothing may get to the root of the questioning.
Safety. Arrange for twenty-four-hour care. This may mean moving in with family members if your relative lives alone. It could mean hiring in-home caregivers if your loved one can afford to age in place. Or hire caregivers to give you or a spouse some respite during the week. (It’s too much to care for a person with middle or late dementia 24/7 without a break.) If home care isn’t feasible, consider moving to an assisted living or memory care unit. Talk with an Aging Life Care™ Manager to learn about local options.
Driving is definitely not safe in the middle stage. This is a tough one. Reasoning won’t work. They don’t have an awareness of their deficits. Even the DMV taking away their license won’t stop them from driving if the car is still present.
Hide the keys.
Let the air out of the tires.
Move the car elsewhere and use their forgetfulness to your benefit: “The car’s in the shop, Dad.”
Medication management. They will need reminders.
This is often the stage when people move to an automatic pill dispenser, although someone needs to track that the day’s pills actually ended up in your loved one’s mouth.
Someone else will need to manage refills.
Remove hazards around the home. Top on the list is removing access to the stove. Many a housefire is started because a burner was left on unattended. You could unplug an electric stove or consider a device that turns off a burner when there’s been no movement nearby for 10 minutes or so. Knives should also be removed. In addition, any guns in the house are best taken away.
Be watchful of family members or “new friends” who suddenly seem very attentive. Sadly, 62% of financial abuse of the elderly is from relatives who take advantage. But there are others who have perfected the art of befriending a vulnerable elder and syphoning off their money.
Look for unexpected withdrawals or expenses on bank and credit card statements. Put a freeze on your loved one’s credit account so you will be contacted if someone steals your loved one’s identity and tries to open an account in their name.
Emotional outbursts or aggressive behaviors. These are the most trying. They often occur when the person you love feels tired or overstimulated.
Look for triggers. Do they act out around bathing? Do they have meltdowns when you are in a busy, crowded place such as a shopping mall? Is there a particular time of day?
What is the emotion behind the words. Think creatively. Could they be responding to something different from what their words literally indicate? (“I want to go home” might mean they want to be in their childhood home with their mother.)
Are they in pain? They could have a bladder infection, a pebble in their shoe, or a headache and not be able to tell you in words, even if you ask directly. Take their temperature. Feel for any pins in their clothing or shoes that are too tight.
Validate their feelings, then change the subject and lead them out of the room. If pain is not the issue, then try distraction and moving to a new environment. For example: “I don’t like that either, Mom. Hey, what do you think about having a sandwich and sitting out on the porch? Look, the birds have come back to the bird bath.”
Pay attention to your own emotions. That includes facial expression, tone of voice, and body language. People with dementia often mirror the feelings of those around them. If you are angry or frustrated, the person you care for will likely absorb and reflect back the same feelings.
Create a daily routine. The more the person you care for can rely upon habit, the less stress they will feel. You will come to learn which times of day work best for which types of activities.
Promote independence. Let them do what they can as much as they can.
Resist the temptation to treat them like a child. They know the difference, especially if they are your parent, and will resist you.
Be patient and let them fumble. If safety is not an issue, then let them keep trying until they ask for help or become obviously frustrated. It’s more important that they get to accomplish something than it is that they do it quickly or “right.”
Don’t rush them. This just gets them more flustered.
Problems with dressing
Remove clothes from the closet that are rarely worn (formal dresses or suits) or out of season. It reduces choices.
If they have a favorite shirt they want to wear all the time, get five more. They can wear the shirt but you can have a few in the laundry waiting to be washed.
Set clothes out on the bed stacked in the order they are to be put on: Underwear on top of pants so the underwear will go on first.
Problems with bathing
Heat the bathroom ahead of time so it’s not cold.
Run the bathwater before bringing your loved one into the bathroom. (The noise can be distressing).
Consider a sponge bath instead of a shower. Use rinseless shampoo for the hair. Keep exposed parts of the body that are not getting cleaned at the moment covered with a towel for modesty and warmth.
Problems with eating
Serve finger foods.
Serve one course at a time, the most important (protein) first.
Do not rush meals.
Keep the table uncluttered.
Eat with your relative to make it a positive social experience (emphasize the social).
Consider less-formal eating arrangements. Allow for “grazing.”
Sundowning. This is the tendency to get anxious and agitated in the late afternoon.
Turn on lamps and pull the curtains about an hour before sunset.
Do stressful activities, for example, bathing, in the morning, when your loved one is more rested. Keep afternoon and evening activities fun and lightweight.
Provide stimulating activities within their abilities. Think of interests they used to have and make adaptations. People with dementia like to be useful, to perform tasks with meaning. Plus, they will be more likely to wander if they are bored. Get inventive. Use their forgetfulness to your benefit:
Fold laundry. (Take the folded laundry to the back room. Fluff it up and bring out the same basket again.)
Rake leaves or sweep the walkway. (Scatter the leaves again for raking up later in the day.)
Sort buttons (for someone who used to sew). Sand a piece of wood (for someone who used to work with wood).
Being physical during the day. This will help your loved one sleep better at night. While they still have good balance, walking is great exercise. But they need to walk with someone else as they are likely to get lost if on their own.
Self-care for family caregivers of persons in the middle stage of dementia
The middle stage is the longest, and in many ways the most emotionally turbulent. Caring for someone with dementia literally “defies reason.” They have lost their ability to access rational thought, so they are often scared, disoriented, and sometimes angry. Without their logical brain, they rely a lot on their intuition, so they are very sensitive to your emotions. Learning to stay calm yourself will make your life easier as they are likely to mirror whatever emotion you are feeling. Making their life easier makes your life easier!
Maintain your own physical and mental health. It’s extremely common for the family caregiver of a person with dementia to end up in the hospital. (Stressed spouses are 63% more likely to die earlier than their noncaregiving peers.) Similarly, 46% to 59% of family caregivers are depressed. The stress is just too much. For the sake of your loved one and your own well-being, you need to make your health a priority. It’s not selfish. It’s essential!
Get plenty of sleep (seven to eight hours a night).
Eat a well-balanced diet.
Avoid overuse of alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. Instead, develop strategies for healthy stress management.
Get regular physical exercise.
Stay in bed when you are sick (and get help).
Keep up with your own doctor appointments and treatments.
Join a dementia caregiver support group. If you do nothing else, listening to the stories of others will help you recognize that you are not alone. You will gain valuable tips from people in the same boat as you. It’s common for family caregivers to feel they are not doing enough, to feel angry and frustrated, and then to feel guilty. A support group is a safe place to vent. Also to learn about healthy coping strategies and local resources that others have found helpful.
Take breaks! It may feel like it’s impossible, but there’s always a way. People who have gone through the caregiving journey always say that in hindsight, they wish they had prioritized taking breaks. They truly needed it. It is exhausting to be responsible 24/7 for an adult-size person who is not rational and is potentially a hazard to themselves. Add to that the emotions of watching a loved one lose their abilities and in many ways, their personality. It can be heartbreaking. You have to take time away so you can recharge your own batteries.
Get help. In order to take breaks, you have to get help. This may involve learning to ask others in your family for assistance. It might mean researching community programs. An Aging Life Care Manager is an expert in aging who can help you find the best local resources for your loved one. Whether it’s adult day care, a paid caregiver a few mornings a week, trading off with siblings, or some other arrangement, you are on a road to burnout—and your loved one will suffer—if you don’t get help and seek respite.
Maintain at least one interest outside your caregiving role. Maybe you can only subscribe to a magazine about your favorite hobby. You may have little time for much more than caregiving. But stay engaged at least a little bit. Remember to schedule in activities that make you smile. You are more than a family caregiver—you need to keep one foot in that other life to stay balanced.
Think twice before you quit your job to do full-time caregiving. Even Justice Sandra Day O’Connor regretted her decision to step down from the Supreme Court to care full time for her husband. (It was only a matter of six months before he no longer remembered who she was.) Financially, be aware that quitting midcareer will jeopardize your ability to save for your own retirement. These are key income-earning years for you! You can’t make them up later. Remember that there will be life after caregiving. Don’t sacrifice your future. Even if it costs money, do what you can to find alternatives. Quitting is going to cost you money also!
Stay connected to at least one friend. Whether you text daily or have a weekly one-hour Zoom call, you need to have a relationship with someone besides the person you care for. And while you may need to vent now and then, be sure that caregiving does not take up the whole conversation. (Save that for a caregiver support group.) You also need to laugh and remember what’s fun about life to stay balanced. If you are married and caring for a relative, take time weekly to do things alone with your spouse (a date night!). Don’t let caregiving intrude on your conversation during that time. Your spouse needs to know that they are a priority too. Similarly, if you still have children at home, dedicate some time each week to each one, giving each your undivided attention. There will come a time when caregiving is no longer a primary activity. Stay invested in the future you want to have with these also-important people in your family life.
Learn more about the disease and seek answers. The more you understand the situation, the better you’ll be at problem solving. There are resources and strategies for handling the difficult situations that arise when caring for a person losing their ability to control their emotions. Remember that whatever the person you care for says or does, it’s not them, it’s the disease. Don’t take it personally.
Recently our family had to make some tough decisions about my Mom’s care. She has advanced Alzheimer’s and needed to move from the facility she has been living in, but to where? We spoke with Marsha Rains and she helped us a great deal. She has much professional as well as personal experience working with elderly people and their families. She listened not only to “ the facts” that we needed to express, but also to our feelings; in fact she encouraged us to express how we were feeling and what we really wanted for Mom at this point. After she listened and understood the situation AND our feelings she was very informative and she objectively offered us good suggestions in a kind and understanding way. She helped us make - with confidence- what we believe is the best decision for Mom at this time. I am very satisfied and grateful for Marsha’s help and will not hesitate to call again if we need further help in the future.
Marsha was extremely helpful in addressing our questions and concerns. At the end of our discussion, we definitely had a plan of action. She was frank, yet tactful and sensitive at saying what needed to be said. We recommend her to any families dealing with care taking of elderly ones.
Marsha is the calm in the storm. My stepmom fell and broke her back. I was spending 10 hours a day at the hospital, trying to work full time, and take care of my diabetic dad. I was completely lost and overwhelmed with all of the decisions that needed to be made, and didn’t know where to start, or who to trust. The guidance and explanations Marsha gave me were invaluable. I can’t thank her enough for her wealth of information and explaining what the options were and what to realistically expect.
Marsha Raines; Founder & CEO of Aging Well (Rochester, NY) is the woman that you need to consult with, if you have ANY questions regarding the broken, complicated, frustrating (understatement) & absolutely soul bending/breaking experience of having to care for your elder sister/brother/mother/father/aunt/uncle etc......in Rochester, NY (& likely nationally).Marsha's a "no bones, no hassle, get the job done," down-to-earth, honest, straightforward kind of business woman and she saved MY butt when it came to a serious communication breakdown between the ONLY facility that had occupancy availability for my elderly Mother.She works within an integrity level that is rare, by today's standards of what is professional.I cannot rave enough.....about her. If you are in need of someone with 35 years of experience in this radically changed & continually changing environment of healthcare for the elderly, I cannot think of anyone more qualified than Marsha Raines. I am very grateful to have made her acquaintance.
While searching for a reputable organization to perform a PRI for my 95 year old Dad I reached out to Aging Well Rochester.Marsha Raines returned my call immediately (I left messages with others and waited a few days) she put me in touch with her nurse Jodi Limner who scheduled a no non sense quick appointment at a very reasonable cost (others had a higher price plus travel charges).I would highly recommend Aging Well Rochester with your elder care!!
We were overwhelmed with choices and had more questions than answers when faced with moving a family member into assisted living. Marsha helped tremendously to prioritize our actions and narrow our choices. She answered all of our questions and put us at ease. I highly recommend her.
Marsha was so helpful during the time when my elderly father was ill. Every time I reached out via email or voice mail, she returned my messages almost immediately, within the same day, even when it was after working hours. She helped my family cut through the conflicting information that I was getting from various sources regarding elder care in the Rochester, NY area. I feel that we were able to save time and focus on the important things after meeting with her. So grateful.
My conversation with Ms. Raines was extremely useful. My life presented an opportunity to learn very quickly about assisted living options in the Rochester area. After a detailed conversation, she was able to recommend three sites which fit our needs. Without her help, we'd still be looking at sites and not be able to focus our efforts on the details of actually moving.
I continue to be so grateful for the care and expertise that we received from Marsha, Sue, Ester and the rest of the team at Aging Well Rochester for our Mom. It was such a relief to know that we could count on them to provide kind, warm support to all of us. The other thing that was so important was their knowledge and understanding of the different options available to us and the best ways to work with other professionals in the field of elder care. We can’t thank them enough!
Marsha was a HUGE support in helping our family find quality care for my Mom who has Dementia. She took the time to answer our questions and concerns with respect and compassion. I am glad that we got to meet with her. She’s put a lot of my family’s concerns at ease and is always there if we need her. I wish more people acted with kindness such as this in the medical field - the world would be a better place!
Thank the good Lord that my wife researched and was able to find Aging Well Rochester and Marsha Raines when my daughter suffered a serious stroke. We had moved to Florida three years earlier and it was not possible to visit her and help with the needed healthcare management.Marsha and Jodi were there to guide us through the process to insure that she could be placed in a facility that could properly provide the care she needed. Given the healthcare crisis in this country, this was not an easy process.They were there each step in securing the best possible care and provided relief from the guilt we felt being so far away from Rochester. The compassion and professionalism of Marsha and Jodi were second to none. We are so very grateful for the service they provided throughout.
I reached out to Marsha @ Aging Well Rochester at a critical point when my dad was hospitalized and needed advice and assistance with coordinating next steps. Within 48 hours, I had had an in depth initial consult with Marsha, agreed to retain her services, and she made calls and was able for me to put in motion a tour and his eventual placement at a wonderful and caring Hospice facility.After my dad's passing, Jennifer worked with my mom over the next few months as she adjusted to all the changes. She was kind and compassionate and very knowledgeable on the process my mom was going through.I would recommend Aging Well Rochester for straight forward advice and counsel to anyone who is feeling "lost" in the confusion and maze of options with aging loved ones.
Marsha Raines provides much-needed assistance navigating a complex system during high-stress times. She is excellent at what she does. She asks important questions, listens, is efficient and very dependable.
Our family worked with Marsha Raines of Aging Well Rochester at a crucial moment when our mother was experiencing a decline in her physical capacities after living on her own for most of her adult life. Marsha was our guiding light throughout the process: explaining, with compassion, the various options for Mom; guiding us through the application process for both rehab and long-term care; and ultimately, settling Mom in at her wonderful new home where she is safe, comfortable and happy. I wholeheartedly recommend Aging Well Rochester!
Was connect with Marsha from Aging Well Rochester while searching for assistance with understanding the system and what is needed for elder parent. Marsha provided me with information, guidance, and took the time to explain differences between assisted living, independent living, and what questions to ask while interviewing for a new home for my mother. Valuable information. Marsha continues to follow up to assist if needed. Very pleased and so glad found Aging Well at a crazy time.
Coming to grips with a parent's decline and figuring out how to meet their needs can be a terribly stressful ordeal. Marsha and her team made it vastly less so. Marsha's calm demeaner, wisdom and professionalism were invaluable during the 8 months during which my father's needs were rapidly changing. She has a wealth of knowledge about resources available in the community and was able to bring them to bear quickly. I will be eternally grateful for the emotional support she provided during the entire journey.
At a time when you don't know what you don't know, Marcia knows! She asks the right questions, narrows the choices, and provides direction. She definitely helped us feel more confident as we moved forward, and she was thoughtful enough to follow up to be sure we were making progress. Highly recommend.
Marsha's experience and knowledge are invaluable to our family during this difficult time! We can now take the necessary steps for our parents' care with confidence. Extremely helpful!
Marsha and staff were exceptional in their guidance though the difficult and unfamiliar journey of finding quality care for our aging parents. For over three years, they were able to anticipate needs, advocate for our parents, and provide support for them through various crises. We are so thankful for their expertise and compassion through all the changes. We highly recommend Aging Well Rochester to anyone seeking help with aging loved ones.
I just want to thank Aging Well Rochester for their assistance to complete an urgent PRI for my stepmother and also one for my father in case we needed it. The nurse went above & beyond to do that for us as we fortunately found a bed quickly for my stepmother. All went well & she is now receiving wonderful care at St. John's Home. Thank you Marsha and your staff - you made a difficult situation much easier.
Marsha Raines was incredible--responsive, caring and very knowledgeable. She helped me navigate options and provided excellent counsel. I highly recommend Aging Well to you if you are facing a difficult and emotional situation with a loved one who needs ongoing medical/rehabilitation placement and services. Marsha exceeded my expectations. Christine L.
Our initial consultation with Marsha Raines was very informative as it provided our family with a starting point concerning a long term care plan for our aging father. Her knowledge, experience and compassion allowed her to assess where each of us were in dealing with the emotional stress of the situation and provide recommendations to get us moving in the right direct with a long term care plan. Marsha helped us narrow our focus to ask the right questions regarding our next steps in care for our father. Thank you Marsha!
We were exceptionally fortunate to have Marsha Raines of Aging Well Rochester assist us in placing my wife in an appropriate facility. She guided me through all the paperwork, answered every question I had and resolved every impediment that we found in the process!Thanks so much Marsha!
We received great service from Marsha. Highly recommend. Navigating rehab and long-term care can be daunting. Marsha breaks down the ins and outs and helps bring the family to consensus on the best next steps.
Our family reached out to Aging Well Rochester for an understanding of the options and to seek clarity as to next steps for our elderly father regarding his future care. Marsha provided our family with the assistance, guidance and resources necessary to make a decision that was best for our father. Marsha's response to e-mails and phone calls was always in a timely manner and we truly appreciated all of her knowledge and expertise and would not hesitate to recommend Aging Well Rochester!!
Marsha understands the world of aging and the decisions that need to be made. She has both the education and experience to navigate a complex system to secure the best care as well as the expertise to guide throughout the process. My wife and I are grateful for her depth of knowledge, experience, skill, and compassion. We plan to use her as a resource for years to come!
Marsha Raines and her team have been a gift to my family. I'm on the West Coast, and her local knowledge has been extremely valuable in locating care options and knowing what to look for. Her direct style does not shy away from talking about tough issues, and in fact, makes it easier to devise a care plan. Marsha is a gem.
I truly appreciate the advice Marsha has to share. She has a great way of putting things into perspective and knows her stuff! Thank you for the advice, help, and input while trying to figure out the next steps with my parents.
I hired Marsha Raines to help me find the best Nursing Home for my husband. She was professional, quick to answer any questions I had, told me all I needed to do, and quick find him the right place. She was extremely helpful and compassionate with this difficult undertaking . I highly recommend anyone searching for a home for their loved one call Marsha before doing anything else!
Marsha level of expertise in this field has been tremendous. She explained the changes that occurred in the nursing homes industry. She took the time to research nursing homes for me and this afforded me time to focus on my mother's medical needs. I found Marsha to be resourceful and committed to helping me through this difficult time. I would highly recommend her service to you.
We moved our mom to a memory care residence, and in just a few short weeks we realized that it was not the right place for her. Distraught that we had made a horrible mistake, we needed help. I contacted Marsha and she met with our family to help sort things out. She took our concerns seriously, consulted with other industry professionals to assess our mom, and found us a better place for her. Just two weeks later we were able to move mom to a wonderful residence that cares for her properly and gives us all peace of mind. We are so grateful for Marsha and her ability to navigate the challenging world of eldercare on our behalf.
My husband, Bradley, needed to be moved to an adult home due to my inability to continue caring for his needs. I had no idea where to turn until Marsha Raines name was given to me. It is very difficult to navigate this process while you are under stress and her kindness and actions got the process started making it much less painful. I highly recommend her for her insurance knowledge which was extremely helpful to me.Mary Ellen Hindson, Rochester, NY
Marsha Raines assisted our family through the most trying time of our lives with Mom. She was extremely knowledgeable about placement, finances local care available and placement. She was personally involved in contacting the care facility to assist in mom getting placement.Her recommendation of the Presbyterian Home was spot on. All grants recommended came through and we were able to continue her care until she passed away.Thank you Aging Well. I would recommend her services highly.
My parents needed more assistance than I could give working full-time in another state in 2015. They were facing medical issues and needed to move out of their beloved home of 60 years. Since then, Marsha and her team have been instrumental in supporting my parents, and me, through good times and bad. They arranged movers, set up and attended doctor appointments, arranged for aides and companions to assist my parents in living safely and independently, and checked in on them to be sure they were comfortable and happy. Marsha has been an incredible resource to me, providing information and advice when needed in a direct yet sincere manner. I feel relieved to know that Marsha is there to help when I can’t be, keeping me informed, and checking in when needed. She is an incredible resource and advocate for the elderly and their families.
I contacted Marsha two weeks ago. I quickly learned that a PRI, exam to determine the level of care was needed to go into a nursing home. I was given 10 local agencies that could do it. I chose "Aging Well". Marsha was so personable on the phone, getting all the fact. She was able to arrange the exam in 5 days. The nurse showed up on time and my aunt chatted away. Two days later I got an urgent call from my aunt begging me to find her a new place immediately, she had a horrible weekend and wanted out. So, I called Marsha back that same day and asked her to take our case on and help get my aunt placed ASAP. She was pleased to help. She sent me the 3 applications to the facilities my aunt wanted by the end of the day. She kept in close contact with me the next couple of days with words of encouragement while I scrambled to get the information. I submitted the first one. Marsha personally went into the facility and spoke to the intact person giving her more details of my aunt. 5 days later, I moved my aunt into the facility she wanted. Here is a photo of her reaction. Marsha is focused, very knowledgeable, explains the process well, upbeat and is very encouraging. I would work with her again in a heart beat. She is the best.
I have been working with Marsha since 2008 planning for the aging process and various transitions for my parents.She has always been incredibly helpful, knowledgable and available. Over the years she has grown the organization, but still maintains that level of support. Her manner is caring and supportive yet direct, a quality that I have found very comforting and helpful during stressful transitions. I can't recommend highly enough.
Aging well Rochester did an AMAZING job of helping my family deal with my experience and Hospitalization with Covid 19. Marsha worked with my children and family and the hospital staff to make sure that I would receive the care needed upon my return home. I can't thank them enough for making this experience as easy as it could be.
Living more than 500 miles away from Rochester, visiting my mother as often as we would like was a challenge. Luckily I found Marsha Raines and her colleagues at Aging Well Rochester. Their visits to my mom were so frequent and warm that the staff at the nursing home thought they were family! Actually that's how we think of them. In addition to the care and support for my mother, the feedback and advice Marsha and her colleagues provided us was always timely and helpful. I consider the day I found Marsha to be one of my luckiest. I can't imagine the last few years without Aging Well Rochester! Thank you for enriching my mother's life and ours.
