While the middle stage tends to be more emotional and outward, the transition to late-stage dementia has a more inward focus. Again, there are no hard and fast lines between stages. It’s more like a watercolor, where there’s a gradual shift from the middle-stage signs to the late-stage signs.
By the late stage, your loved one will become very dependent. Where bathing and dressing were a challenge in the middle stage, by the late stage they will be unable to get dressed or bathe themselves at all. Walking will become a challenge, as will talking. They will become less and less verbal and even have trouble understanding more than simple requests on your part. You want to keep the environment as calm and secure as possible for them, making each day the best day it can be.
The late stage is the precursor to the final stage. (There is only a little bit of difference between the two.) It’s wise to begin thinking now about end-of-life care. Revisit your loved one’s advance directive to be reminded of their preferences. Recognize that by the late stage, they are not going to understand the purpose of a surgery or chemo. The chance of a cure may not be worth the difficulty of treatments. Since your relative can’t understand concepts like sacrificing now for a better future, the focus is on comfort care so they have a pleasant experience of every day.
If you would like more information or to discuss support strategies, give us a call at 585-271-0400.
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Signs and symptoms of late-stage dementia
The challenges of the middle stage become tasks that simply can no longer be accomplished independently. And new challenges will emerge. The late stage does blend into the final stage, but there is no timetable. For some people, the two stages last two years. For others, it’s a steep decline, and together it’s six months. It depends on the condition and other health factors.
Signs of the late stage include the following:
Difficulty communicating verbally. Your loved one may understand some of what you say, although less and less as time goes on. They are not likely to be able to speak much themselves. If they speak at all, they may revert to words from the language of their childhood.
Balance and gait are impaired. The person you care for will begin to need assistance walking. A cane or walker will be too confusing. They will need another person to lean on. They will be spending more and more time in a chair or in bed.
Problems getting to the bathroom. Some of this has to do with the difficulty of walking. Some with loss of control of the bladder and bowel muscles.
Difficulty chewing and swallowing. Your relative may choke easily. Or they may lose interest in eating. Finger food is preferred as forks and knives are too complicated.
Long-term memory fades. They may be able to access events from their youth and childhood, but events in recent time (even recent decades) will no longer be available. Eventually they will lose long-term memory as well.
Social interactions change. At this point, the person you care for will forget who people are. They may react positively to a smiling face and caring demeanor. But they are not likely to recognize you, for instance, as their daughter or son. They may react as if they are in their childhood or young adulthood. (Your dad may ask to see his mother. If you look like your father did in his youth, your mom might call you by your dad’s name.)
Not oriented to time or place. People in the late stage do not understand seasons, days of the week, or even years. They also don’t understand things like what city, state, or country they live in. (They may think they are in their deep past. They aren’t likely to be able to update that information to current time.)
The experience of those in the late stage of dementia
One way to think about the stages of dementia is to imagine the advance as a rolling back of the clock in human development. In the early stage, we lose the learning of adulthood (planning, logic, judgment). In the middle stage, we lose the learning of adolescence (emotional regulation). The late stage is when the person you care for is losing the learning of childhood. Socializing. Bathing and getting dressed. Eating with a fork and knife. Using the toilet.
They still have their five senses and can be very much oriented around those. They can still experience joy. Look for activities they respond to well. Music from the past seems to inspire lots of feeling and engagement. It has been known to spark joy and excitement from even the most introverted, nonverbal people. It seems to be an avenue that cuts through the clogged pathways in the brain.
What memories they have appear to be in the far past. This leads us to assume that they are living there in many ways. Dad may mistake you for your mother because you look the way she does in his earlier memory of her. Your relative may ask for their own mother, or “to go home.” This often isn’t literal. It’s more about going back to the comfort and protection of their childhood.
Emotional outbursts or aggressive behaviors at this point tend to be a sign of pain. The person is not verbally able to tell you if they are in pain. Even if you ask directly, “Are you in pain,” they may not be able to answer accurately. If you notice an especially sudden change of temperament, look for signs of pain. Beyond the obvious (stone in a shoe, a pinch somewhere), a bladder infection or constipation are likely suspects.
The body is definitely winding down in the late stage of dementia, preparing for the final stage. Your relative’s world is getting smaller, not necessarily distressing. A routine with fewer demands on their energy and attention can be comforting. They prefer not to be overstimulated. It’s taking a lot just to be awake and aware and managing the basics of bodily functions. They intuitively understand their vulnerability and powerlessness. As a result, they benefit from ongoing rhythms that help them feel safe and loved.
How family caregivers can help someone in the late stage of dementia
Keep life simple and slow. No rushing. Reduce clutter in their room. Remove extraneous noise (TV in background). Daily routines are very comforting.
Help them experience the world through the five senses. Wherever you are with them—for instance, sitting outside in the morning—comment upon what you see, the warmth of the sun, any smells in the air, birds chirping. … Rely on the five senses to make each moment the most pleasant it can be.
Music! Oddly, people in late-stage dementia can often sing along and remember words from favorite hymns or popular songs of their youth, even when they can’t necessarily speak words in regular conversation. Try different playlists, including favorite composers or musicians and songs from their childhood. See what piques their interest.
Looking at old photos is often very comforting. The person you care for may or may not remember who is who in the pictures. But they do seem to like the activity and hearing tales about the people in the picture. (Resist the temptation to ask, “Do you remember?” That just puts pressure on them.) They will respond as much to the loving tone in your voice as to the images they see.
A soft, fluffy blanket or a cuddly stuffed animal can be very reassuring. Even little gestures of affection come through well: Holding hands, stroking an arm, massaging the scalp.
Lotions with a fragrant scent. Scented soap or shampoo can also be pleasing. But if they sneeze or have a history of sensitivities, skip this idea.
Although the appetite is waning, favorite foods can sometimes be a hit. People in the late stage often develop a sweet tooth! Be careful if there are problems with diabetes or other metabolic conditions.
Be creative and accommodating. If you notice they like a grandchild’s doll or stuffed animal, get them one. It may remind them of a younger time and be very comforting. (Consider robot dogs and cats. They purr (or wag their tail) and even have a heartbeat. Many memory care communities have one for each resident because they are so popular. These communities also find their female residents enjoy carrying a baby doll with them. You can often see women sitting together with their dolls, appearing to communicate about their “babies.”)
Socializing. Your loved one may still enjoy visits from others, even though they can’t communicate verbally. Try to arrange for one-on-one time. Give visitors a sense of what to expect. (For instance, the person you care for may not recognize visitors, even if it’s their own grown children). Prompt visitors about the five senses and have soothing activities at the ready (comfort toy, book to read from, favorite music, lotion). Schedule visits at your relative’s best time of day, usually mornings when they are well rested. Keep visits with small children short and always with another adult present. The joyful noise and chaos of children may be a bit overwhelming.
Pay attention to changes in behavior. Sudden agitation, shouting, sleeping problems, or anxiety are often a sign of pain. Since your loved one can no longer talk to tell you they are in pain—or respond accurately even to a direct question—you will need to learn to read their nonverbal cues. In addition to these behaviors, they may express pain nonverbally with wincing, groaning, a grimaced face, or a furrowed brow. Pain can be as simple as a headache, shoes that are too tight, or a pin sticking in them. Or it could be a bladder infection, constipation, or something more serious. Talk to the doctor if you can’t find a cause and your normal soothing strategies don’t seem to work.
Hallucinations. In the late stage, people with dementia often see things the rest of us don’t. The images can be quite odd: Goats on the roof or little people on the bookshelf. If your relative is not distressed by the images, the best strategy is to let it be. Trying to convince them they aren’t seeing what they believe is there will simply lead them to distrust you. If they are distressed, say something validating like, “Goats on the roof. That’s a long way to jump.” Then change the subject and direct them out of the room to a different environment. “You know, I saw some doves on the patio. Let’s go check them out.”
Monitoring eating. In the late stage, appetite decreases. The person you care for doesn’t need a lot of food because they aren’t likely to be very active. Still, it’s a good idea to keep track of their weight. Finger food is preferable since coordination of a fork, knife, and spoon will become too difficult. If swallowing becomes a problem, they may end up with more of a liquid diet, such as smoothies and pureed soups. Talk with a dietician about best foods to help, given your loved one’s eating challenges. And if your relative is diabetic, talk with the doctor about adjustments to insulin or other diabetic medications, given the changes in eating habits.
Incontinence. With walking difficulties, you may find that a bedside commode is easier. Set a toileting schedule if you can. Be sure the person you care for is getting enough fluids and fiber to address constipation. (You’ll want to reduce fluids in the evening so they are less likely to get up at night or to wet the bed.) Eventually, they will need diapers and to use waterproof bed pads. Constipation is common and can be very uncomfortable. If three days have passed without a bowel movement, talk to the doctor about best options. You may also wish to consult a dietician for advice.
Bathing. The challenges of the middle stage continue. But now, with balance problems added, it’s easier and safer to give sponge baths instead. They are actually just as hygienic. Also consider “rinseless shampoo” for hair washing.
Skin care. Again, with the challenges of walking, your relative will likely be sitting a lot or eventually spending lots of time in bed. This can lead to bedsores (also called “pressure ulcers”). To reduce the chance of bedsores, shift your loved one’s position every two hours: Lying on their left side, lying on the right, sitting up in bed …. You also want to keep the skin clean and dry. Change clothing or sheets right away if there’ve gotten wet. Avoid scrubbing on the skin. It is far too thin at this stage. A light swipe and then blot dry. Use lotions afterwards to help with elasticity. Check daily for sores and rashes.
Getting up and moving around. Getting up and out of chairs or the bed will soon have to be an assisted task. You are very much at risk for injuring your own back. Ask a physical therapist to give you instruction on safe ways to help. Also, learn how to assist them with walking. You may need a “gait belt” or some other way to help steady them. You don’t want to grab their arms if they start to fall.
Protect against infections. Frequent infections are a sign of the final stage, but they start occurring sporadically in the late stage. The immune system is starting to close down. Here are some tips for prevention:
Mouth care. Bacteria buildup in the mouth can travel down to the lungs and cause pneumonia. People in the late stage will sometimes store bits of food in their cheeks. Food particles like this are a source of infection. Try brushing after each meal and be sure to remove any remaining food. Remove and clean dentures each night. Also use a soft toothbrush on gums, tongue, and the interior of cheeks.
Stay current on vaccines. Flu, pneumonia, and other respiratory infections are especially fatal to the elderly. Keep your loved one up to date with vaccines. You also want to stay current with your vaccines so you don’t inadvertently give your relative an infection.
Treatment decisions. You will be called upon to make treatment decisions during this stage, which can be challenging. There is no cure for the diseases that cause dementia. The person you care for will likely die from it or from some other disease that may be progressing faster, such as cancer, heart disease, or COPD. Unlike a person whose thinking is intact, your loved one won’t be able to understand that the pain or discomfort from treatment is going to lead to a potentially better or longer future. The future is too abstract a concept. All they have is now. Keep that in mind while making decisions.
If your relative prepared an advance directive earlier in the disease, consult that now for guidance.
Palliative care. Palliative medicine is not curative but focuses instead on palliation, the relief of suffering. Palliative doctors are experts in physical and emotional comfort. Palliative care is like hospice care but can be received without foregoing curative care for other conditions your relative may be facing. You may ultimately decide that hospice is the preferred option. Medicare lets your loved one receive more support from medical and nonmedical professionals. Plus, hospice is 100% provided by Medicare (no copayments). Hospice is only for those in the late and final stage, when the decision maker agrees that a “cure” is no longer a goal. There is an acceptance that the end of life is near. An Aging Life Care Manager can help you decide whether hospice or palliative care is the best fit for your situation. (If palliative care is chosen, an Aging Life Care Manager can advocate for insurance coverage since, unlike hospice, palliative care may not be a covered benefit.)
Consider a residential setting. Care needs at this stage can become more than you can do 24/7. A memory care community can provide staff who work as a team in rotating shifts. They are professionally trained to work with people who have dementia. They are caring, but they are not as emotionally affected by disease as you are. An Aging Life Care Manager can help you decide if this is the best course. And if so, which is the best community in your area that fits your price range. They can also help coordinate with the facility to make the move as smooth as it can be. Ninety percent of families who have been providing dementia care for five years or more eventually decide that a memory care option is the wisest for everyone. Especially because your relative forgets who you are and is not particularly in touch with where they are, a move may be recommended for their benefit and for yours.
Self-care for family caregivers of persons in the late stage of dementia
Many family caregivers, especially spouses, shoulder the care of a loved one alone. By the late and final stages, the person you care for is very dependent, even bedbound. They likely don’t remember who you are. This can be heartbreaking. Dealing with feeding them, bathing them, diapers, and the inability to walk … frankly, it can get to be too much.
You may decide that a memory care community is a wiser option. The staff have training. They work as a team, in shifts. They aren’t as emotionally attached as you are. Plus, they can handle the physical side of things and let you just be a loving family member. An Aging Life Care Manager can help you find a community that meets your family’s needs.
If you decide to keep your loved one at home, consider the following:
Take breaks! You need time away from all the intense caregiving. It may seem impossible to arrange, but you do need some time away every day (fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, an hour, just to walk around the block or go to a different part of the house and do something unrelated to caregiving). It’s too much to shoulder responsibility for a very dependent adult twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week without at least a little interruption each day.
Get help. Whether it’s other family members coming to spell you, a Aging Life Care Manager to deal with doctors and the medical system, or hired help for heavy-lifting tasks like bathing, you need assistance. You don’t want to burn out and get sidelined. If you need help with finances, consider a consultation with an Aging Life Care Manager. They can point you to lower cost programs, advise you regarding subsidies, or negotiate with any long-term care insurance your relative might have so you can get the services you need.
Conflicting emotions are natural. You may find yourself feeling guilty because you would like this whole chapter to be over. Of course! It’s perfectly natural to want some relief for yourself, as well as for your relative. Furthermore, the person you care for actually may not have been very nice. Your history may involve a strained relationship. You may have lots of feelings that are not resolved. It’s very helpful to talk with a counselor or social worker who has experience with end-of-life issues and can help you process these very normal but distressing thoughts and feelings.
Consider hospice. This is a free service provided by Medicare to help families in the final stage of life. (There are no copayments. It’s covered 100%.) Many people think hospice is just for the last few days before death. Not at all! Hospice can provide up to six months of support. They don’t provide 24/7 care. But they do offer services to help your loved one and you as a family caregiver. Talk to the doctor to find out if the person you care for is eligible for hospice.
A nurse to provide education about your relative’s condition, what to expect, how you can offset difficult symptoms. Often home visits by a nurse occur on a weekly basis.
A nurse’s aide to bathe and groom your relative two or three times a week.This is extremely helpful as it’s quite common for family caregivers to sustain a back injury trying to get their relative in and out of the shower.
A trained volunteer who can spend time with the person you care for so you can have a few hours away from the house once a week.
A social worker to suggest low-cost community programs if you are having financial difficulties. The social worker can also help with processing your own emotions.
A chaplain for support relating to more existential or spiritual questions. It can be very hard to watch a loved one decline through the years with dementia. It’s not uncommon to feel mad at God, to question why there is such suffering. A chaplain is usually part of a faith tradition but is trained to help people of all faiths, and no faiths, as they confront these larger issues.
Respite. Part of the hospice Medicare benefit can provide you with a few days off. Also, a volunteer once a week who can give you a few hours to yourself away from the home.
Bereavement support. At such time that the person you care for passes away, hospice has trained individuals who can help you process the wide range of emotions that come with the grief of a loss like this.
Be mindful of depression. The conditions that result in dementia usually last for a very long time. It gets depressing watching the person you care for drift away. Your own life can get very narrow and run down.
Depression is more than feeling sad and crying now and then. It tends to be a dissociation from the zest of life for two weeks or more. Things that you used to enjoy no longer interest you. You may lose initiative. You might experience sleep disturbances (too little or too much sleep). Or eating disturbances (inability to eat, or overeating). Your own thinking may get fuzzy or confused. Problem solving can become difficult. Or you may experience headaches or stomachaches with no identifiable cause. If any of these symptoms apply, talk with a doctor. Between 40% and 60% of family caregivers struggle with depression. You can’t change your relative’s diagnosis, but you can seek treatment for your own mental health. Life doesn’t have to be this hard.
Marsha recently helped our family navigate a tough situation with an aging family member by helping us understand our options and the financial implications of each in a very clear way. We are extremely grateful for her knowledge and support!
Recently our family had to make some tough decisions about my Mom’s care. She has advanced Alzheimer’s and needed to move from the facility she has been living in, but to where? We spoke with Marsha Rains and she helped us a great deal. She has much professional as well as personal experience working with elderly people and their families. She listened not only to “ the facts” that we needed to express, but also to our feelings; in fact she encouraged us to express how we were feeling and what we really wanted for Mom at this point. After she listened and understood the situation AND our feelings she was very informative and she objectively offered us good suggestions in a kind and understanding way. She helped us make - with confidence- what we believe is the best decision for Mom at this time. I am very satisfied and grateful for Marsha’s help and will not hesitate to call again if we need further help in the future.
Marsha was extremely helpful in addressing our questions and concerns. At the end of our discussion, we definitely had a plan of action. She was frank, yet tactful and sensitive at saying what needed to be said. We recommend her to any families dealing with care taking of elderly ones.
Marsha is the calm in the storm. My stepmom fell and broke her back. I was spending 10 hours a day at the hospital, trying to work full time, and take care of my diabetic dad. I was completely lost and overwhelmed with all of the decisions that needed to be made, and didn’t know where to start, or who to trust. The guidance and explanations Marsha gave me were invaluable. I can’t thank her enough for her wealth of information and explaining what the options were and what to realistically expect.
Marsha Raines; Founder & CEO of Aging Well (Rochester, NY) is the woman that you need to consult with, if you have ANY questions regarding the broken, complicated, frustrating (understatement) & absolutely soul bending/breaking experience of having to care for your elder sister/brother/mother/father/aunt/uncle etc......in Rochester, NY (& likely nationally).Marsha's a "no bones, no hassle, get the job done," down-to-earth, honest, straightforward kind of business woman and she saved MY butt when it came to a serious communication breakdown between the ONLY facility that had occupancy availability for my elderly Mother.She works within an integrity level that is rare, by today's standards of what is professional.I cannot rave enough.....about her. If you are in need of someone with 35 years of experience in this radically changed & continually changing environment of healthcare for the elderly, I cannot think of anyone more qualified than Marsha Raines. I am very grateful to have made her acquaintance.
While searching for a reputable organization to perform a PRI for my 95 year old Dad I reached out to Aging Well Rochester.Marsha Raines returned my call immediately (I left messages with others and waited a few days) she put me in touch with her nurse Jodi Limner who scheduled a no non sense quick appointment at a very reasonable cost (others had a higher price plus travel charges).I would highly recommend Aging Well Rochester with your elder care!!
We were overwhelmed with choices and had more questions than answers when faced with moving a family member into assisted living. Marsha helped tremendously to prioritize our actions and narrow our choices. She answered all of our questions and put us at ease. I highly recommend her.
Marsha was so helpful during the time when my elderly father was ill. Every time I reached out via email or voice mail, she returned my messages almost immediately, within the same day, even when it was after working hours. She helped my family cut through the conflicting information that I was getting from various sources regarding elder care in the Rochester, NY area. I feel that we were able to save time and focus on the important things after meeting with her. So grateful.
My conversation with Ms. Raines was extremely useful. My life presented an opportunity to learn very quickly about assisted living options in the Rochester area. After a detailed conversation, she was able to recommend three sites which fit our needs. Without her help, we'd still be looking at sites and not be able to focus our efforts on the details of actually moving.
I continue to be so grateful for the care and expertise that we received from Marsha, Sue, Ester and the rest of the team at Aging Well Rochester for our Mom. It was such a relief to know that we could count on them to provide kind, warm support to all of us. The other thing that was so important was their knowledge and understanding of the different options available to us and the best ways to work with other professionals in the field of elder care. We can’t thank them enough!
Marsha was a HUGE support in helping our family find quality care for my Mom who has Dementia. She took the time to answer our questions and concerns with respect and compassion. I am glad that we got to meet with her. She’s put a lot of my family’s concerns at ease and is always there if we need her. I wish more people acted with kindness such as this in the medical field - the world would be a better place!
Thank the good Lord that my wife researched and was able to find Aging Well Rochester and Marsha Raines when my daughter suffered a serious stroke. We had moved to Florida three years earlier and it was not possible to visit her and help with the needed healthcare management.Marsha and Jodi were there to guide us through the process to insure that she could be placed in a facility that could properly provide the care she needed. Given the healthcare crisis in this country, this was not an easy process.They were there each step in securing the best possible care and provided relief from the guilt we felt being so far away from Rochester. The compassion and professionalism of Marsha and Jodi were second to none. We are so very grateful for the service they provided throughout.
I reached out to Marsha @ Aging Well Rochester at a critical point when my dad was hospitalized and needed advice and assistance with coordinating next steps. Within 48 hours, I had had an in depth initial consult with Marsha, agreed to retain her services, and she made calls and was able for me to put in motion a tour and his eventual placement at a wonderful and caring Hospice facility.After my dad's passing, Jennifer worked with my mom over the next few months as she adjusted to all the changes. She was kind and compassionate and very knowledgeable on the process my mom was going through.I would recommend Aging Well Rochester for straight forward advice and counsel to anyone who is feeling "lost" in the confusion and maze of options with aging loved ones.
Marsha Raines provides much-needed assistance navigating a complex system during high-stress times. She is excellent at what she does. She asks important questions, listens, is efficient and very dependable.
Our family worked with Marsha Raines of Aging Well Rochester at a crucial moment when our mother was experiencing a decline in her physical capacities after living on her own for most of her adult life. Marsha was our guiding light throughout the process: explaining, with compassion, the various options for Mom; guiding us through the application process for both rehab and long-term care; and ultimately, settling Mom in at her wonderful new home where she is safe, comfortable and happy. I wholeheartedly recommend Aging Well Rochester!
Was connect with Marsha from Aging Well Rochester while searching for assistance with understanding the system and what is needed for elder parent. Marsha provided me with information, guidance, and took the time to explain differences between assisted living, independent living, and what questions to ask while interviewing for a new home for my mother. Valuable information. Marsha continues to follow up to assist if needed. Very pleased and so glad found Aging Well at a crazy time.
Coming to grips with a parent's decline and figuring out how to meet their needs can be a terribly stressful ordeal. Marsha and her team made it vastly less so. Marsha's calm demeaner, wisdom and professionalism were invaluable during the 8 months during which my father's needs were rapidly changing. She has a wealth of knowledge about resources available in the community and was able to bring them to bear quickly. I will be eternally grateful for the emotional support she provided during the entire journey.
At a time when you don't know what you don't know, Marcia knows! She asks the right questions, narrows the choices, and provides direction. She definitely helped us feel more confident as we moved forward, and she was thoughtful enough to follow up to be sure we were making progress. Highly recommend.
Marsha's experience and knowledge are invaluable to our family during this difficult time! We can now take the necessary steps for our parents' care with confidence. Extremely helpful!
Marsha and staff were exceptional in their guidance though the difficult and unfamiliar journey of finding quality care for our aging parents. For over three years, they were able to anticipate needs, advocate for our parents, and provide support for them through various crises. We are so thankful for their expertise and compassion through all the changes. We highly recommend Aging Well Rochester to anyone seeking help with aging loved ones.
I just want to thank Aging Well Rochester for their assistance to complete an urgent PRI for my stepmother and also one for my father in case we needed it. The nurse went above & beyond to do that for us as we fortunately found a bed quickly for my stepmother. All went well & she is now receiving wonderful care at St. John's Home. Thank you Marsha and your staff - you made a difficult situation much easier.
Marsha Raines was incredible--responsive, caring and very knowledgeable. She helped me navigate options and provided excellent counsel. I highly recommend Aging Well to you if you are facing a difficult and emotional situation with a loved one who needs ongoing medical/rehabilitation placement and services. Marsha exceeded my expectations. Christine L.
Our initial consultation with Marsha Raines was very informative as it provided our family with a starting point concerning a long term care plan for our aging father. Her knowledge, experience and compassion allowed her to assess where each of us were in dealing with the emotional stress of the situation and provide recommendations to get us moving in the right direct with a long term care plan. Marsha helped us narrow our focus to ask the right questions regarding our next steps in care for our father. Thank you Marsha!
We were exceptionally fortunate to have Marsha Raines of Aging Well Rochester assist us in placing my wife in an appropriate facility. She guided me through all the paperwork, answered every question I had and resolved every impediment that we found in the process!Thanks so much Marsha!
We received great service from Marsha. Highly recommend. Navigating rehab and long-term care can be daunting. Marsha breaks down the ins and outs and helps bring the family to consensus on the best next steps.
Our family reached out to Aging Well Rochester for an understanding of the options and to seek clarity as to next steps for our elderly father regarding his future care. Marsha provided our family with the assistance, guidance and resources necessary to make a decision that was best for our father. Marsha's response to e-mails and phone calls was always in a timely manner and we truly appreciated all of her knowledge and expertise and would not hesitate to recommend Aging Well Rochester!!
Marsha understands the world of aging and the decisions that need to be made. She has both the education and experience to navigate a complex system to secure the best care as well as the expertise to guide throughout the process. My wife and I are grateful for her depth of knowledge, experience, skill, and compassion. We plan to use her as a resource for years to come!
Marsha Raines and her team have been a gift to my family. I'm on the West Coast, and her local knowledge has been extremely valuable in locating care options and knowing what to look for. Her direct style does not shy away from talking about tough issues, and in fact, makes it easier to devise a care plan. Marsha is a gem.
I truly appreciate the advice Marsha has to share. She has a great way of putting things into perspective and knows her stuff! Thank you for the advice, help, and input while trying to figure out the next steps with my parents.
I hired Marsha Raines to help me find the best Nursing Home for my husband. She was professional, quick to answer any questions I had, told me all I needed to do, and quick find him the right place. She was extremely helpful and compassionate with this difficult undertaking . I highly recommend anyone searching for a home for their loved one call Marsha before doing anything else!
Marsha level of expertise in this field has been tremendous. She explained the changes that occurred in the nursing homes industry. She took the time to research nursing homes for me and this afforded me time to focus on my mother's medical needs. I found Marsha to be resourceful and committed to helping me through this difficult time. I would highly recommend her service to you.
We moved our mom to a memory care residence, and in just a few short weeks we realized that it was not the right place for her. Distraught that we had made a horrible mistake, we needed help. I contacted Marsha and she met with our family to help sort things out. She took our concerns seriously, consulted with other industry professionals to assess our mom, and found us a better place for her. Just two weeks later we were able to move mom to a wonderful residence that cares for her properly and gives us all peace of mind. We are so grateful for Marsha and her ability to navigate the challenging world of eldercare on our behalf.
My husband, Bradley, needed to be moved to an adult home due to my inability to continue caring for his needs. I had no idea where to turn until Marsha Raines name was given to me. It is very difficult to navigate this process while you are under stress and her kindness and actions got the process started making it much less painful. I highly recommend her for her insurance knowledge which was extremely helpful to me.Mary Ellen Hindson, Rochester, NY
Marsha Raines assisted our family through the most trying time of our lives with Mom. She was extremely knowledgeable about placement, finances local care available and placement. She was personally involved in contacting the care facility to assist in mom getting placement.Her recommendation of the Presbyterian Home was spot on. All grants recommended came through and we were able to continue her care until she passed away.Thank you Aging Well. I would recommend her services highly.
My parents needed more assistance than I could give working full-time in another state in 2015. They were facing medical issues and needed to move out of their beloved home of 60 years. Since then, Marsha and her team have been instrumental in supporting my parents, and me, through good times and bad. They arranged movers, set up and attended doctor appointments, arranged for aides and companions to assist my parents in living safely and independently, and checked in on them to be sure they were comfortable and happy. Marsha has been an incredible resource to me, providing information and advice when needed in a direct yet sincere manner. I feel relieved to know that Marsha is there to help when I can’t be, keeping me informed, and checking in when needed. She is an incredible resource and advocate for the elderly and their families.
I contacted Marsha two weeks ago. I quickly learned that a PRI, exam to determine the level of care was needed to go into a nursing home. I was given 10 local agencies that could do it. I chose "Aging Well". Marsha was so personable on the phone, getting all the fact. She was able to arrange the exam in 5 days. The nurse showed up on time and my aunt chatted away. Two days later I got an urgent call from my aunt begging me to find her a new place immediately, she had a horrible weekend and wanted out. So, I called Marsha back that same day and asked her to take our case on and help get my aunt placed ASAP. She was pleased to help. She sent me the 3 applications to the facilities my aunt wanted by the end of the day. She kept in close contact with me the next couple of days with words of encouragement while I scrambled to get the information. I submitted the first one. Marsha personally went into the facility and spoke to the intact person giving her more details of my aunt. 5 days later, I moved my aunt into the facility she wanted. Here is a photo of her reaction. Marsha is focused, very knowledgeable, explains the process well, upbeat and is very encouraging. I would work with her again in a heart beat. She is the best.
I have been working with Marsha since 2008 planning for the aging process and various transitions for my parents.She has always been incredibly helpful, knowledgable and available. Over the years she has grown the organization, but still maintains that level of support. Her manner is caring and supportive yet direct, a quality that I have found very comforting and helpful during stressful transitions. I can't recommend highly enough.
Aging well Rochester did an AMAZING job of helping my family deal with my experience and Hospitalization with Covid 19. Marsha worked with my children and family and the hospital staff to make sure that I would receive the care needed upon my return home. I can't thank them enough for making this experience as easy as it could be.
Living more than 500 miles away from Rochester, visiting my mother as often as we would like was a challenge. Luckily I found Marsha Raines and her colleagues at Aging Well Rochester. Their visits to my mom were so frequent and warm that the staff at the nursing home thought they were family! Actually that's how we think of them. In addition to the care and support for my mother, the feedback and advice Marsha and her colleagues provided us was always timely and helpful. I consider the day I found Marsha to be one of my luckiest. I can't imagine the last few years without Aging Well Rochester! Thank you for enriching my mother's life and ours.
While the middle stage tends to be more emotional and outward, the transition to late-stage dementia has a more inward focus. Again, there are no hard and fast lines between stages. It’s more like a watercolor, where there’s a gradual shift from the middle-stage signs to the late-stage signs.
